Age
is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn't matter – Mark
Twain
Until the moment I’m
writing this, Debate.org still showing that 50% say yes while another half say
no to a question on “Does age matter in a relationship?”. It is widely accepted
that women prefer men who are older as a partner while men prefer younger
women. This is also in line with Parental Investment Theory in which, men are
drawn to women who advertise signs of fertility or in simple word, youth.
Contrariwise, women will choose older men since they usually have high status
and greater resources.
However, in this
contemporary world, people perceive fertility, high status and greater
resources as something common. The biggest challenge is to get someone who
understands us, appreciates us and cares for us, beyond anything else. As we
mature, such compatibility will be our biggest priority in a long-term
relationship. But, what happens if you find this compatibility with someone about
10 or 20 years old younger or older than you?
Dating or marrying
someone with a huge age differences or sometimes known as May-December
relationship are more likely a trend nowadays. Some famous Hollywood celebrities
such as Madonna, Kate Perry, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Megan Fox or even
some famous Bollywood celebrities such as Amir Khan, Sanjay Dutt, Kareena
Kapoor and Saif Ali Khan had experienced this with an age gap up to 19 years.
Well, it is entirely
your choice to date someone older or younger than yourself. Some people don’t
see age as a significant factor to date someone while others stick to their
principle and will only date people with same age or few years around it. It is
a personal choice and there is no such right or wrong rules in that. But, bear
in mind on some possible problems that you might face if you are into this
May-December relationship.
What are the possible
problems? First and foremost, the norm. Most people are used to end up with
someone close to them in age and it is already a norm. But to those who are
saying hell to society’s age stereotypes, this is surely not a problem anymore.
Second, the second time around. Usually, May-December partners have mismatched
life experiences which can come in a form of career, travel, marriage and
children. The problem will arise when one person in the relationship has
already “been there, done that”, hence reduce the excitement of doing it
together.
In sickness and in health is one of the problems that you may go unnoticeable right now, but definitely not in the long term. This will somehow impact on the quality of your lifestyle with your partner who is much older than you. Another famous problem
is “Who’s your daddy?” It is more to an embarrass moment when you and your
partner are mistaken for parent and child or even worse. I’ve witnessed this
quite frequently among my relations. In the case of my relations, some of them
did that by choice while some others due to arranged marriage. See also Arrange Marriage Vs. Love Marriage
Despite all these
problems and you think you are capable of tackling it as easy as ABC, then that
path is yours. Not to forget, many relationships with an age gap are highly
successful. The key is strong communication skills, dedication, honesty and a
lot more. Just like any other relationship, if you are committed to making it
work, then together you can tackle any complication life throws in your path.
